Friday, May 15, 2009

What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman...

"You're going to have a HUMONGOUS baby!"

That is exactly what was said to me during a recent trek to Fred Meyer, by a well-meaning, older gentleman before me in line.

But first, let me set the stage: He first asked when I was due. I could tell by his expression that he expected me to say "next week." When I said "August" (aka: 3 months), he was more than a bit taken back and his eyes got as big as my belly at 6 months pregnant.

Ok. I get it. I do look like I'm carrying a basketball in my tummy. And really--I don't take this all personally. I figure, if I'm going to have a baby, I may as well look like I'm going to have a baby. But telling a pregnant woman that she is going to have a humongous baby makes her mind go places she doesn't want it to go! The horrors my mind has gone through ever since that fateful comment! Exactly how big will Reesie-girl be?


I know I am being irrational, but I'm pregnant, and that is how I roll when I'm pregnant. So the irrationality of it all continues. I have already "heard" the doctor's words when she arrives:

We were wrong about your due date! You were supposed to be due sometime back in June!


Better call the Book of World Records. This one's a doozy!


You may need some help out to the car with her. I called for the fork-lift operator to meet you out front.

Yes, this is all exaggeration. My husband would be so proud of me for my embellishments. But exaggeration or not, I now have braced myself for a big baby all because of this man's comment.

But it's not all because of this one man's comment. Everywhere I go, people keep asking if I am due this month. Manual doors now open automatically. People part ways for me quicker than the Red Sea.

I was at Winco and was placing veggies on the conveyer belt. It was a quick trip and I didn't need much. In fact, if Winco had an express line, I would be in it. This man in front of me asked me 3 times if I could handle placing my groceries on the belt myself. I felt like telling him I was pregnant, not disabled, but instead thanked him for asking. But no, I do not need help lifting this jalapeno. Or this bag of lettuce. Or small 1-inch baggy of bulk cumin. I still wonder how he thought I had gotten these "heavy" items in my cart in the first place. Yes he was being nice. I'm just having fun.

I also went to Costco yesterday and got a smattering of groceries. It has been my experience that Costco does not provide help with large loads. In fact, a few years ago I purchased a playhouse and had to lug Brian back with me later in the day to help me get it home, as I was told that they do not provide assistance with large items. Yesterday was different. Upon exiting the building, the nice man who writes smiley faces on our receipts insisted that I get some help and instructed me to drive my car up to the front. When I arrived, my basket was promptly emptied without so much as a lifted finger from myself.

Thus my growing paranoia over a humongous baby.


Sharon said...

Okay... :-) I know I'm going to make you feel even more paranoid with my opening comment :-) but please keep reading! Yes... you do carry your babies out front :-) and your belly shows early on.. BUT!!!! what do you expect... you are such a little lady where else is that baby going to go?????!!!!!
Just be thankful you haven't gotten the comment I have that "at least you have good birthing hips" !!! Now how would you take that one! :-)
Jen... you're a beautiful pregnant mommy!

Chelsea said...

Oh, my comment is now totally changed after reading Sharon's comment. You poor thing Sharon. Unfortunately Jen, I have less sympathy for you now. The hips comment will linger in her mind (even though she's such a skinny minny), while the large baby idea will be gone once Reesie is here!

Suz said...

I'm ashamed to say....but my sister was pregnant when I was 18 (that's my excuse). She made the mistake of asking me how much I thought she weighed. I took a good look at how big her belly was (carrying it all out front) and trying to imagine the weight of it, I guess 180 lbs! Yeppers, I think that sent her into tears. She was 110 before pregnancy. Never ask an 18 year old to guess your weight! ":o)

Anonymous said...

Jen, you carry your little girls beautifully! You have a perfect pregnant tummy! When I was pregnant with little Bennett I was at Target with Donny heading to the check out stand and a gentleman in a wheel-chair came over to me and said "don't ya think you oughta lose a little weight?" And then he chuckled to himself. Now I can look back at that now and think he was probably just trying to be funny and friendly but at that time...oh dear, you do not say that to a pregnant lady who already feels big! I was speechless, didn't know what to say or how to take that one.

R said...

You are gorgeous, always have been.


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