She struggles: 10 months young and knows what is best
She clings: nearly 7 years, and wants to force her way
These girls, separated by half a dozen, and yet closer than they know
for their hearts beat wildly the same and their feet ache to move and
never sit still.
Their will is strong and unyielding and I ache because I know
the tears and angst that come from wanting to learn the hard way.
And mother, 35 years almost, and learning lessons as I go
and how is it that the first born gets
the worst me--the me that cannot be taught?
and yet the last born gets an imperfect me as well
and I seek to draw the rebel in and soften with my arms
and how I want to melt the rock exterior with watering words--
to grow and nourish and not tear down. To draw in, not push away.
And rest together equals time spent and it heals and it slows down,
And grace--it is a balm and it is a saving and it does not exist
and I reach in deep to share some of it
and I remember that grace is meant to be given away
for it isn't so and it isn't healing
and it isn't heart-changing if it's kept locked away.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9a